I am going to see Melissa Etheridge at the Chicago Theater next Friday. This will be my third time seeing who my mom refers to as just “Melissa.” Evidently, they are on a first-name basis.

Which means three out of four concerts I have attended with my mother star Melissa Etheridge. The other one?

Cher and the Village People.

Mom: In the words of Gravy Train!!!, you made me gay.